The Naming of Things

I am suspended between two homes. I have my home in California. That is where my heart is, really. My family is there, my church is there, all of my dearest friends are there. Riverside is the place that I spent late summer nights in high school. It's the place where I learned how to drive, it's where I stuck a yellow-green crayon up my nose when I was two. It's the place where I love to see movies, where I love to drink coffee, where I love to have sandwiches. Mt. Rubidoux fireworks on the Fourth of July, Mission Inn decorations at Christmas, 85 degree Thanksgivings. California - it's where I fell in love with baseball, fell in love with football, fell in love with Disneyland, fell in love with the ocean and the mountains and the city and the park. It's where I went camping, it's where the Bridge is, it's where all my favorite nooks and crannies reside.

Oxford. It's where I learned to write an essay in a day. It's where I learned how to help a dear friend in need. It's where I learned to speak more quietly (at least Holly insists it's true). It's where I saw Simon Schama, where I almost get hit by buses, it's where I ate paninis every Thursday, it's where I go to Cafe Nerro, it's where I spend entire afternoons in the world's most exhaustive library. It's where the Ents are, it's where I met the only friends I may every have from Pennsylvania, it's where I watched 'Grizzly Man', it's where I listen to terrible rap songs late at night with the best study partners in the world. It's where I learned the words to 'Rule, Britannia!'. It's where I saw Thom Yorke, it's where I lived in Richard Dawkins' neighborhood, it's where I met intelligent young women professors who are excited about their subject. It's where I learned more about John Donne than I ever wanted to know, it's where I got my nose pierced, where G&D's is, where St. Frideswide walked, where the silliest boat races are, it's where Roger Bannister broke 4 minutes, it's where I learned more about myself in 13 weeks than I ever have before.

How can I choose? How can I choose between them? Emma came up with a word to describe love for one's home state: State-riotism. I am very state-riotic. I sincerely miss the sunshine. I miss my family and my dear friends. But Oxford is a magical place. The people that I have met here are incredible, and I get sad even thinking of leaving this cozy English house, with it's cozy English Jonathan and the cozy English tea, the garden and the quirky fire doors.

I realize now that I never made a "who's who in Oxford" post like I had promised at the beginning. I am glad, because I don't feel like I really knew people then. Now, just as we are getting into our comfortable routines, deepening our already intense friendships, now it is time to wrap things up, pump out a final essay or two, and go back to our lives before. But it won't be the same. We've changed each other, we've changed ourselves, Oxford has changed us. I don't want to leave them behind. I want to pack them all (well, almost all of them) up and take them to the land of sunshine and ridiculous vanity, because that is home and, in a small but significant way, they are kind of like home also.

Alyssa makes strange faces at me, but always give me good hugs and a good listening ear. I feel very at ease with her.
J is like the goofy big brother that I never had, talking to me about Byzantine history, historical theology and Soulja Boy.
Scot was quiet at first, but he shared music with me and introduced me to a whole new musical wonderland. He encourages me when I am down and always comes through with a strange inside joke.
Brittany is sincere and kind, genuinely joyful. We like muffin jokes and indiscernably groaning in the morning about how much we DON'T want to get up and go to British landscapes.
Michael and I fought a lot, hugged a lot, misunderstood each other a lot, and, I think, like each other a lot. I would try to describe him, but honestly, you'd just have to meet him.
Jo is exuberant, a ferocious worker, an avid traveler, and really a person whose presence I enjoy being in.
Skye is easy-going, laid back - we had the same tutor during term-time and enjoyed talking about our respective poets and the funky smell at Greyfriars. And watching Gilmore Girls together.
Derek was quiet, but opened up so much. We stay up far too late, writing our essays and listening to Kanye West or whatever we feel like, talking about socialism or graduate school or home or what on earth we are going to do with ourselves in life. He underestimates himself and his abilities, but he's sharp and aware, and a kind friend.
Will is always ready with a smile, takes risks and dancing lessons (aren't they the same?) and has a passion for history, which is always refreshing.
Amanda has beautiful curly blond hair, and usually watches all the insanity but has great stories and an even better sense of humor. Plus, she's from Canada!
Kreigh can carry on endless conversations about himself, and can manage to simultaneously attract and repulse a seriously large number of girls. The man has skills.
Allison is a peaceful, concerned and sincere friend. She loves to share her favorite documentaries with us, and her quirky sense of humor and generous face always bring me joy.
Theo has a knack for saying the most unusual things which, out of context, are even funnier than they were when you knew what was going on. He is always incredulous when watching film, and can always jump in with some pertinent scientific anecdote.

There are so many more people and events that have made my time here incredible. But I am tired, it is late, and even Derek went to bed already. Besides, I have to wake up in the morning for one last British landscapes class.

I want to go home, but I do not want to leave Oxford. I don't want to leave behind all that has happened, all the wonderful people I have met, all the places and things and memories that I have grown to love. But I want the sunshine, the hamburgers, and most of all my family.

I think that, soon, a cross-country road trip will be in order. Of course, I need a car first...